Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Floor bacon is actually really good
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
