You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
