It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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