Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
