so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
