There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
