My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
