just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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