this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
