Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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