Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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