We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
