I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
