Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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