He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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