standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
