Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
