I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
