She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
