If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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