I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
