THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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