Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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