smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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