You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
