I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
