And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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