You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
