shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
