soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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