Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize