I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
