shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
