i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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