Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i will never coherently bang her
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
