R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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