I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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