Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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