Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
