you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
