She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
