you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
