It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize