Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He did a backflip because drugs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
