would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Green mimosas i think yes
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
