Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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