my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
