Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
