Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
