what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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