C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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