Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
