She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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