we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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