Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
