Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
