Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
its liver damage thursday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
