I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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