I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
