It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
