Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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