the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
