You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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