Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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