Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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