is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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