You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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