Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
