Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
