she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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