Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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