I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
