We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
