My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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