The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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