oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
