we're blogging at a bar
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize