ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
