found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
